People Who Make You Successful… Or Not

One of the greatest motivational speakers and self help gurus Jim Rohn once said “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This is very true!

Many psychological studies confirm that the people we spend a lot of time with affect our mood, our tastes, our beliefs and even our health. For example, a study conducted by scientists Nick Christakis and James Fowler showed that a person’s chances of becoming obese increased by 57% if he or she had a friend who became obese in a given time interval. Sociologists call this phenomenon “homophily” or social conformity.

If you doubt that other people can influence your behavior, attitudes, or your opinions imagine how hard it is to stick to your weight loss goal, when everyone around you is eating fatty foods. I will tell you from personal experience – it is a torture! Watching your co-worker dip freshly baked French fries into a cheesy sauce and making pleasurable sounds, is a test even the strongest of us can fail.

This social “conformity” principle is especially important in goal setting and goal getting. You may be the smartest and most goal-oriented individual around, but if you are constantly surrounded by pessimistic, fearful people, you will eventually start dragging yourself down into the whirlpool of their negativity.

If everyone around you tells you that something cannot be done, sooner or later it will become your unconscious belief too.

But social conformity is not necessarily a bad thing. It all depends on the people that you hang out with!

How you can use the “conformity” principle to your own benefit?

Yesterday I went to my friend’s birthday party, where I met an ex classmate that I have not seen for a long time. Last time I saw her, she weighed 150 pounds, because she had gained a LOT of weight during her pregnancy. That night she was unrecognizable! She looked gorgeous, slim and slightly embarrassed by the amount of compliments she was getting from everyone at the party.

She told us that after giving birth to her beautiful baby girl, she completely changed her eating habits and proved it by politely, but firmly refusing a piece of deliciously looking birthday cake. We all joked around about how much she was missing out by not trying the cake, but deep down all of us were thinking, “I need to start eating healthier too”.
Today, when I called the birthday girl to thank her for the party, she told me that she had decided to start Pilate’s class on Monday and asked me if I wanted to join her.

This might have been a coincidence, if you believe in coincidences…
I personally believe in social conformity and inspiring people!

If you want to achieve your goals faster and keep your motivation high over a long period of time, the best way to do it is to surround yourself with positive, proactive people who are not afraid to take responsibility for their life and constantly strive to improve themselves.

Think of the 5 people you currently spend most of your time with.

Do they aspire you to become a better, more successful person? Or do they drag you into gossiping, blaming and complaining?

Do they support you in your undertakings and empower you to act on your goals? Or do they constantly criticize your ideas and dampen your self-confidence?

People that you spend most of your time with have the power to both elevate you and to drag you down with them. But only you have the power to choose who to spend your time with!

“It’s better to hang out with people better than you” – Warren Buffet

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