The Art of Chitchat

Monday, December 21st, 2009 at 1:19 pm

I hate chitchat. Hate it.

I know I am probably (not probably, definitely am) an overly intense person. I want to be engaged in something that is meaningful and “on purpose” at all times—even when I am “off” and not working. To sit around and shoot-the-(well, you know) and talk about the weather, football scores or the latest celebrity gossip pains me beyond belief.

Ask my wife: A conversation goes shallow, and I’ll go in the other room and read a book or find something else “productive” to do. So when I know I am going into chitchat terrain (like holiday parties and family functions) I gear myself up and review my chitchat strategy.

Here is what I know for sure:

•People like to talk about themselves—a la Winning Friends and Influencing People.

•I really don’t like talking about myself or what’s going on in my life—I already know all that, and it bores me to hear myself talk about it. (And I know most people don’t really care; they are just waiting for their turn to talk about themselves. Seriously, no joke, see above point)

•I love to learn and am in constant pursuit of life’s distinctions. If I am going to engage in chitchat (heaven help me), I want to learn something. I want to walk away with a new idea, tip or distinction I didn’t have before the conversation. And I believe I can learn something from anyone.

•It’s up to me to make the conversation interesting. Considering the above (people really only want to talk about themselves, and I don’t, but I want to learn something), the key is to be ready with interesting and inquisitive questions. Anyone who knows me knows I am always asking questions (and it isn’t about Britney Spears or Snoop Dog news). The key is to have a series of great and insightful questions ready.

Want some help with creating great questions that get people talking about their greatest passions, hopes, dreams, ambitions and ideas?

If so, I will now give you my “on purpose” chitchat formula… CLICK HERE TO READ REST OF POST