Women: Would you trade personal success for your mate?
Lets say you were in a successful career, one that required long hours and heavy commitment. If you continue working like this, you might eventually rise to the top. But you meet a man and fall in love with him. Yet you can’t see him enough because of your career.
He loves you, you love him, and ets say marriage was a possibility, but he needed you to be available more often and have more time for him. In short, you would need to sacrifice some of your career and possibly pass things up in order to do this.
How likely would you be to do this? (And lets assume he made some sacrifices of his own as well)
I’m in a similar situation and I want to get a read of how most women would react.
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It’s a tough call but I don’t beleive there is one single mate for everyone in the world. If the man wasn’t supportive of my career I don’t think he’d be worth it. If you’re working too much you should stop for your own health and social life.
If he was willing to compromise it would influence me to consider, but my aim in life is to work as an international aid worker so it’s going to be difficult to find a man who can fit into that. I would not sacrifice it for anyone.
I wouldn’t. Eventually I will get to where I want to be and have more time for him. I would do the same for him.
I think if you love someone you wouldn’t make them choose between you and their goals.
Excuse me?
You’ve clearly never met military women and their spouses. We sacrifice time, personal lives, and a host of smaller things in pursuit of a living wage and a pride in our jobs. And while I’m not really qualified to speak for any one else, my man stands by me 100%. I don’t NEED him. I can be just FINE by myself. I enjoy his company, I enjoy having him around, and this job adds to the quality of both of our lives, even if it does involve a 60-70 hr work week every now and again.
It would depend on a lot of variables.
As a poster said before me, a relationship might look wonderful and lasting to start with, but there’s a chance it would end nasty. I usually wouldn’t go for with the guy. See, if I were in a 95% successful career, why the hell would I give it up for 50% chance for a successful love life.
Nah, guys aren’t worth it.
I’m not sacrificing my career for anybody.
It really depends.
I know people who are in med school/residency who have very little free time, but I think they would be crazy to give up all that hard work. The hours eventually get better and someone who really loves them should be willing to stick it out.
I also know people who have jobs that require very long hours and constant travel, but if they were willing to take a slight pay cut, they would have much more reasonable hours. I could see making the switch in this case.
I think the real issue is where would they be if they gave up the job and the relationship didn’t work out. Someone who left med school would have made an enormous sacrifice while someone who moved to a slightly less high pressure job wouldn’t have made a serious dent in their professional future.
I also think there is a big difference between married/engaged and just talking about it. Married/engaged = committed to each other, talking about it = nothing.
Honestly, it would depend where I was in the career. As much as I can love someone, we gotta eat.
Since being with someone is about compromise, I would hope that person would understand that I’d want to pursue my goals with my career, and that might take me away from some of the time I spend with him. Although I would love to be with him constantly, if he felt as though he couldn’t handle me being away so much I’m afraid I’d have to say it’s not working out.
People go through this a lot, and usually it’s the reversal of gender roles in this scenario – so I would expect the same as any man who was in this position.
It’s not like I’d love my career over a person, but if they don’t stick by during my climb they wouldn’t stick with me in the long run anyway.
I really have no idea. I guess it depends what’s more important to me. I would not be throwing anything away just for a guy. Because while it may seem like a good relationship at the start (most of them do, of course) there is no guarantee that it will last, and then either shortly later or quite a long time later, I’d be without a job and without a guy and rather pissed off with myself.
However I don’t really have high career ambitions and I would hate to work long hours and waste my life purely on career, so I wouldn’t be in that situation anyway. If I was then I would probably try to find a balance if possible. Drop back somehow in work, whilst maintaining financial stability – not just for this guy, but so I could have a better work/life balance and experience life more in general!